The Dangers of Venting.

Everyone needs to vent from time to time; I think it must be some deep evolutionary psychological need to unload our stress onto someone else, or to at least have someone else tell us its going to be all right ( and no you are not crazy).

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And yet as I’m sitting with tissues peppering my floor, empty ice cream tub in my lap, wailing away on the phone to a friend- I often end up feeling a lot worse when its over. This of course is not always the case, sometimes venting is the best way to feel like you are absolutely right about a situation; your friends live for this . To affirm your place in the world as a non-bitch, as the nice one in an argument , as absolutely fucking right!

But more often than not, i’ll leave a good vent sesh with a pit of regret in my stomach. Usually mid-vent i’ll say some nasty things about others- or even let slip something I wasn’t supposed to. Thats the problem with a good dish sesh- once you start its hard to stop. You feed off each other as you bad mouth someone else, while building yourselves up. Pretty soon you have a full on shit storm of mud-slinging going down and you feel a bit guilty on the inside about it, yet oddly satisfied.

I’m not saying that all vent seshs are bad- sometimes they truly are the only way to move past a situation! Keeping something bottled up is never good for you, It will weigh you down mentally and make you feel awful. Yet unloading private matters or gossip onto a third party isn’t always a good idea.

Why not?

  • said third party could be more loyal to your enemy than you think… and turn around to tell them
  • said third party could learn some new things about you and be judgemental
  • said third party could believe you are batshit crazy

Yet sometimes said third party will agree with you and you will bond over your agreement! YAY

thats why its always good to know ahead of time what your friend will think; no one vents to someone unless they know before they will be on the same page!

Venting via electronics is NEVER a good idea.

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Take it from me, i’ve learned the hard way. When you vent via text you get extremely worked up; angry as hell. You start texting so fast your thumbs can barely keep up! and in you flurry of word slinging… you send it to the wrong person.

Believe me if you are mad at someone, they are on your mind, so it is easy to make a mistake.

Rule of thumb – always re read a text and check recipient before pressing send. Remember that just like the internet, texting is forever, and once you send those words they could be later used against you. Its middle school all over again!

Which is why i’ve always had a little black book. NO not of phone numbers , but of venting. If i’m feeling particularly angry or down about something instead of having word vomit rain down on my friend sometimes I grab a pen and word vomit all over my journal. It feels great to get out those thoughts, and no one needs to see them but you! It feels just as great as unloading on a person… with much less damage.

Of course sometimes even a little black book cant replace a friend giving you a hug and saying, ” you are so right so and so is being a total prick to you”

So long live the foolish venting/dishing/word-vomit sessions ladies and gentleman. Just proceed with caution.

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